Can Christian Women Be Holy and Sexy at the Same Time?
Can you be holy and sexy at the same time? There is definitely a tension there, I'm not disputing that. Sensual and saved? The bible encourages sensuality in the confines of a marriage, but what if you're single? The dictionary definition of holiness is as follows: dedicated or consecrated to God or a religious purpose; sacred. Whereas the informal dictionary definition of sexy is: exciting; appealing.
So, it follows that, as a holy woman, I am set apart by who I choose to put my faith in – Jesus Christ. And as a young woman who has an eye towards fashion and expression – some of my choices may be meant to appeal and highlight beauty. We know very well the prohibition against fornication, but can Christian women express their femininity in ways that invites and intrigues without being overtly lustful? What is the line and why is this conversation important?
It's important to me because I believe God gives women, all women, beauty as a gift. How best can we steward it for His glory? I'm going to continue exploring this through my company @crownedwithgraceboutique. I may mess up here and there but trust me when I say my heart is in the right place and my pursuit is to see Christ magnified through my life and expression.
Thanks for addressing this topic because as a single Christian woman, this is close to my heart and has often caused confusion and frustration in me. Sometimes when I do fitness workouts that have very sensual movements but are meant to get you “sexy” and make you feel comfortable in your own body, it does cause guilt in me, even though I usually do those workouts when no one is around and I’m by myself. I feel a lot of guilt because of the above question: Can my Godliness and sex appeal coexist? And my answer is yes. The reason is that what is thought of by this world to be sexy is often degrading and pornographic. And I don’t have to take that on in order to be sexy. The way I do my makeup, my personal style, my color coordination, and the way I dress for my body type can all highlight my beauty without inciting lust. If I think I have nice legs, I don’t have to wear a mini skirt and heels. I can emphasize my legs by wearing a lighter color of skinny jeans on the bottom (not too tight!)and wearing flesh-hued shoes with pointy tips to elongate my legs and wear a more neutral color on top. If I want to emphasize my narrow waist, I can wear a waistbelt. Those are just a few examples of how we as women don’t have to ignore the beauty of our form for the sake of modesty. That’s not what modesty about. It’s about the condition of the heart. 1 Peter 3:1-6 is my favorite passage for this concept because I have found out how much Paul’s words have twisted by both patriarchal and feminist cultures as a tool of oppression that it isn’t. Paul isn’t saying that women shouldn’t wear jewelry or braid their hair. He is encouraging women to “adorn” themselves in humility and reverence to God. Adorn comes from the Greek kosmeo which means “to arrange” or “set in order”. I wear my mascara, black eyeliner and fake lashes out of the joy and fun that comes with knowing that God loves else and wants me to have fun and enjoy my life. He didn’t come to make me miserable or make things hard for me. He gave to give m abundant life. And out of that, I doll myself up. And I have found that when I adorn myself that way, there’s no room for inappropriate dressing. I no longer have to do that because I have nothing to prove. My sexiness comes put of the fact that I already have it because I was made beautiful from the very beginning (Psalm 139). And I have often heard from many men – real men, the kind that respect women and see them as a blessing – say that when a women dresses provocatively, it does catch their eye, but ultimately they couldn’t see themselves in a real relationship with her. Plus it makes then uncomfortable because it puts images in their mind of that woman that they would rather not have. The more a person “tries” to be sexy, the more unsexy they become. So, I think women can be sexy and holy at the same time as long as they choose to embrace and love themselves exactly as God made them.
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