She led a life of endless possibilities ❤️
- Make peace with your past
You are insecure, and highly triggered by circumstances that are associated with the source of your insecurity OR you are a procrastinator who was publicly called out for it in a way that has caused shame. Whatever the source of your most recent trauma, you need to make peace with it. You can initiate this process by first acknowledging that it is indeed a wound that needs healing. You are called to vulnerability: But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: "God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble." -James 4:6
Receive the grace you need for healing by acknowledging your pain, first with yourself then with God and then, if led, with others. Healing awaits on the other side of vulnerability. When you receive His grace, you are better able to steward it, first with yourself then outwards towards others. The key to healing is understanding that you are not your pain and that there is grace in place of trauma. When we deal tenderly with ourselves, we are that much more empowered to deal tenderly with others.
- Confront the nag
“I need to lose 8 pounds.”
“I need to go on ahead and start that business.”
“I keep forgetting to apply for that job with the lengthy application process.”
Whatever the source of your nag is –confront it. God has placed desires in your heart that you continue to ignore or put off for a more convenient time. Spoiler alert: there will never be a convenient time to do a hard thing. It is hard essentially because it is inconvenient and requires commitment and effort. Embrace the difficulties of birthing something new. The jolt of energy you receive from stepping out on faith and initiating a process that you’ve been longing for will add the necessary momentum and excitement needed to persevere in it.
Our minds can trick us into putting off hard things. We think we are satisfying our need for rest. It is a trick because it is the opposite of satisfactory to put off a God-given desire. Losing the last few pounds may give you a sense of confidence and empower you to show up in spaces more in tune with who you are. Starting that tutoring business may fulfill a plethora of needs for others out there looking for a skilled yet empathetic tutor.
Applying for that job may propel you to your dream career where you are able to tap into a community of partners in need of what you give out in your role. It is in doing the small things where we make it known we are ready for the big. Confront the nag, do the hard thing with passion and consistency and watch God take your 5 loaves and 2 fishes to feed 5000 (Luke 9:10-17).
- Initiate that tough conversation
You got into a shouting match with your cousin 3 Fridays ago and neither of you have picked up the phone since then to squash it. You are hurt and upset that she didn’t take into account the fact that you are at the lowest point in your life and needed grace and understanding. Instead she popped off about something minor and her sudden brashness took you by surprise and caused you to go HAM. You were patiently awaiting an “I’m sorry” text, but after a few days when it hadn’t come, you sensed that she was digging in her heels and actually might be feeling like you were the one in the wrong. No matter the details, we all have someone in our lives who we need to have a tough conversation with. We put it off because we don’t understand why we need to initiate it.
Let me explain: making peace with the ones we love is essential to a healthy and happy 2020. Despite the variety of memes populating social media, it is dysfunctional to continually banish people out of your life over disagreements. It is very normal to disagree and even bicker. We are all different human beings with our own personalities and emotions. The real work lies in mending relationships and getting to a place of peace. Peace comes when we are able to temper our expectations of others. Expecting people to treat you the exact same way you treat them is not always realistic. Any long-lasting relationship is marked with a healthy dose of forgiveness, grace and understanding. Initiating that tough convo may unveil that maybe this is a person you need to love from afar. If so, it was worth the convo because now you can set new expectations for that relationship and move on in peace and clarity instead of hard feelings and tension.
- Withdraw from toxicity
There is a group of women at the gym that you gravitate towards. You all are in similar places in your lives and you bond on after gym coffee dates. You are giddy that they have included you in their quartet and you do your part to remain welcome by joining in the gossip fest. Deep down you are reminded of the quote that says: Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people. But you continue anyway because it’s interesting! After a couple of months of this, you wonder what they say about you when you’re not around and whether they are as vicious and judgmental with you as they are with everyone else.
You just met these girls and they really have no reason to be loyal or kind to you, so you’re pretty sure they aren’t. Sis, as fun as it may be to gossip and be a part of the “in crowd”, it really doesn’t satisfy your need to belong because no one truly belongs to this type of toxic grouping. This group is girded by pride and delusion. Pride always fails eventually: Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall -Proverbs 16:18.
Instead, plug into life-giving, spirit affirming groups founded on positivity and truth-telling. If you need to standalone for some time before you are able to find such outlets, then do that. Standing alone instead of standing within toxicity is much better for your mental health and will lead you on a successful trajectory much sooner.
- Operate in perpetual gratitude
You are alive! You have made it into 2020; not everyone can say that. Possibilities are at your fingertips. Remind yourself daily of everything you have to be thankful for, even if all you can say is you are thankful for life. Understand how powerful life truly is. You have been endowed with creative power. What do I mean by that? You can initiate a conversation and your relationship changes! You can initiate a lifestyle change and weight falls off. You can initiate a new job application and potentially get a new role! You can initiate a new business idea and your title suddenly changes! Don’t believe the lie that you don’t have power over your life and that you can’t make a change. You, sis have ultimate power over the direction your life takes: For you were called to freedom. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another -Galatians 5:13. Be grateful for the endless possibilities before you and step into your place of power with love, clarity and grace. You got this, 2020 is yours!
With love and reflection,